Accidentally In Love
by iheartShules
Summary: Reese and Carter are good at pretending they are just friends, until they can't to themselves anymore. Rated T for slight suggestive dialogue.
1. What's Wrong With Me?

_**AN: This is slightly AU as the final moments of 3x09 never happen, so Joss was never gunned down, also there is no Decima/Samaritan as that doesn't happen in mine. Thanks to Elaine for putting up with me and randomly sending you things like this lol. But I just had to write this out or the plot bunny would have ripped me apart. They can be vicious!**_

 _ **This chapter is in Carter's POV.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

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Her date ended early. Joss was trying to get back to some semblance of a life, one that she hadn't had since HR had taken her career from her. She had spent every waking moment trying to bring them down and now that she had, it was time to get back to living her life. She got justice for Cal, for herself, and for anyone that HR ever harmed in the past. It had been a good day when she got Quinn and Simmons both. Simmons had tried to slither away but he had been spotted by one of her C.I.s and FBI picked him up. Only a handful of low level players were left out there, most had just joined and there wasn't enough to put them away, but they got fired for rumors of having an affiliation to HR.

Joss had figured she'd die at the end of her takedown of HR, so when she got to go home she hugged and kissed her son so hard she nearly squeezed the life out of him. Her boy had been a good sport while his old mom cried, not even knowing what a mental roller coaster she had been on just hours prior. But that had been last November and it was already midway through June, closing in on summer, and yet she was still stuck in a rut. She had isolated herself so much from everyone during that time of taking down HR that she didn't know how to shut it off. The only real person she had chosen to help her, to lean on, was John, and that was when she realized she needed someone to have her back because she couldn't do it alone. And she trusted that man more than she ever trusted anyone. Not that she didn't trust Finch, Fusco, or Shaw because she did and they were tremendous helpful friends, but she and John were just connected in a way the others weren't.

Joss sighed, if she was honest with herself she would admit that she and John had been connected since the moment their eyes locked for the first time. She had never seen such intense and sad blue eyes as his had been, they were still intense but for the most part that utter bleakness was gone, replaced with something else. Hope. And she silently wondered if she helped erase that bleakness from him. _"You changed my mind,"_ flashed through her mind but she stubbornly pushed thoughts of John away.

But forcing thoughts of John away only brought her back to her current predicament, the lack of a personal life, and it was all John's fault too. She had figured getting some semblance of a life back meant actually having a personal life, or at least an attempt at having a personal life. Which brought her here, exiting a romantic restaurant where she had agreed to meet Miguel Hernandez, alone.

He was a good looking man, funny, and intelligent. Miguel was a bank manager she had met on accident when she left on her break to hit Starbucks for her and Fusco. The date had gone well until it became evident that there was nothing beyond the initial flicker of physical attraction that sparkled between them. And as intelligent as Miguel was, the conversation stilted midway through the date and neither one knew how to keep it going, so they fell to the dreaded topic: weather. And that was the kiss of death for any date, but they were adult about it, wishing each other well and that was that.

She felt the warm June air wash over her while the breeze billowed as she walked in the throng of other men and women who were in a hurry to get to where they wanted to go.

It was all John's fault that her dates were boring, because ever since that one cold and lonely Valentine's night that she had shared with him—her best friend, it had ruined her. That night her son had a date with his new girlfriend, all her girlfriends had dates, Fusco had one, hell even Shaw had one. Shaw!—though, she seriously doubted that the date ended in romance and more along the lines of pure sex. But even just having sex had sounded good after months of being celibate. She hadn't dated since Cal had died, hadn't wanted too, and then when she did want to she had been so focused on HR that dating had taken a backseat. She had been lonely, and annoyed that she was lonely, until John just showed up bringing her roses as if he knew she was feeling a tad depressed. He brought her chocolates, treating her to a wonderful Valentine's non-date, he even brought a rom-com that she knew he hated but watched it for her. They had stayed up late just talking, he was utterly fascinating. John had given her more insight into him on that one night than he had previously in all the years she had known him. She felt thirsty as the more he opened up the more she asked him things. But at some point after midnight, she had fallen asleep, and woke up the next morning finding herself in her bed, alone, with a note thanking her for a wonderful night.

And ever since then none of the guys she went out with after her one non-date with John were very interesting. It always started out alright, but it puckered out about an hour into the date. That non-date was more stimulating than the last four real ones put together. Maybe she was being too picky? Since her non-date with John she had found her tastes in the opposite sex skewed a bit. She judged their looks, wits, and intelligence to John. If they weren't as tall as him then he was too short for her, if they weren't as handsome as John then they weren't attractive. If they didn't stumble over their words as they tried to tell her she looked nice, then they weren't meaning it. If they flashed their pearly whites too much then they were being fake, she enjoyed John giving her his rare beautiful smile, making her feel like he reserved it just for her. If they weren't as humorous as John with his wry sense of humor then they were dull. Joss couldn't even count the number of men she sent packing because they just didn't rise to the bar that John had set without even realizing he had.

Or maybe it was the occupations of the men she did agree to go out with that did somehow manage to measure up, maybe they were just boring for her? The last four guys all worked 9-5 jobs, with 401K plans, and guys who wanted to talk about finance or politics. Not that she minded talking about politics, but it was just not her 'go to' topic and not once during her conversations with John did conversation ever become so stale that they had to fall onto politics as something to talk about. They both had traveled, he more so then her, and they shared many similar likes so the conversation never hit a lull. Or perhaps the reason for her dates crashing and burning had little to do with the men and more to do with her.

Joss approached her car as she tugged her cell phone out of her purse. She didn't even hesitate as she found John's name and clicked it. She put the phone to her ear and it rang once before he answered. "Hello detective," he greeted.

She smiled. "Hey…"

"Are you okay?"

Her smile widened. "Do I need to be in danger to talk to you, John?"

"Well no," he said and it sounded like he wanted to say more but refrained from doing so. "So what do I owe the pleasure of you calling then, Carter?" She hemmed and hawed because she wanted to say she was lonely and wanted to talk to him, but didn't want him to feel obligated to come over. "Carter?"

"I'm lonely," she admitted as she slid into her car, leaning her head against the headrest and slammed her car door shut.

John was quiet for a moment. "Bad date, huh?"

She furrowed her brows. "How did you know I went out on a date?" she demanded before she exhaled. "Never mind, I don't want to know," she admitted before letting out a sound of surprise as her passenger side door opened and she blinked as John climbed in. "Where the hell did you come from?"

He shrugged as he ended the call and put his phone away as did she. "I was around," he murmured.

She cocked a brow. "You were 'around' huh." she said but not in anger, she was actually grateful he had been following her.

He shrugged. "I just wanted to make sure this guy didn't do anything to you."

"You know I can take care of myself, John."

"I know but it never hurts to have someone watching your back," he said and she glanced at him and smiled. She couldn't shut his protectiveness off any more than she could hers and a part of her deep inside was thrilled she had someone out there that cared that much about her.

She looked away glancing out to the windshield eyeing all the people walking to and fro, and realized she could have been in the midst of them and would still feel as lonely as hell. "What's wrong with me, John?" she asked quietly.

"Carter, there is nothing wrong with you."

She kept her gaze out on busy New York because she was afraid to look into his eyes. "I mean ever since I brought down HR, got my job back, and my life back, it just feels like I'm stuck."

"You spent months trying to bring them down, Carter. You spent every waking moment trying to bring them down. It's going to take time to fall back into the swing of things for a normal everyday life."

"You make it sound so simple."

"It's not, it's never easy adjusting," he said, sounding as if he knew from experience and he probably did. It must have taken time for him to adjust to his new purpose for life.

"I feel like something is missing from my life, John."

"What do you think is missing?" he asked softly and this time she did look him in the eyes.

"Love," she said. "For years I went without it because I didn't need it. I had my boy who loved me unconditionally but he's grown now. He's got a cute girlfriend who he took to prom, he graduated, he's moving onto college and I'm incredibly proud and happy." But she also felt like she was at a crossroads, once her son went to college she would be alone. And while she was comfortable being alone, she didn't want to be alone forever—no one did.

John gave her one of those rare smiles. "I know you are and he's just as proud of you for everything you have accomplished. Not to mention I heard that the precinct is thinking of promoting you to Captain."

"You heard, more like you listened in on a private conversation," she huffed and he shrugged. Captain Moreno was moving up the food chain, getting promoted and she recommended her for the job. Joss had interviewed for it just two days ago but wouldn't know anything until next week at the earliest.

"It's a good opportunity, Carter, and you should be happy."

"I am happy and I was going to tell you if I got it or not,"she assured him.

"You'll get it."

"Oh no you don't, you and Finch are forbidden from doing anything that makes it so I get it, understood! I want to get the job for my own merit not because you threaten someone or someone hacks the database and gives me it!"

John looked at her with a smirk. "I'm hurt you'd even think I'd threaten someone to give you a promotion."

She snorted. "You did it for Fusco, getting him promoted and moved into Homicide Division at the 8th!"

He shrugged. "That was different."

"Why?"

"Because I needed him to keep an eye on you for me, plus he needed to get away from where he was as everyone knew he was dirty," John said. Joss shook her head, John sounded so reasonable as he explained it. But even so she couldn't be entirely upset because John had gotten her the best partner she ever had, even if he had started out dirty. Fusco became a good friend.

"You know you saved him, right?"

John looked at her, confused. "Saved who?"

"Fusco. He probably would be dead or in jail if it weren't for you."

John shook his head. "I highly doubt Lionel feels that way. I manipulated him into helping me, forced him to. If anyone saved him it was you, Carter. You got him to go on the straight and narrow." She would let him believe that since it seemed John wasn't willing to believe the alternative right now.

Conversation lapsed and they were blanketed with silence. And it wasn't uncomfortable in the least, they were content in being in each other's presence without needing to fill the void with useless words. She looked out the window and felt John tense a bit. She glanced at him as he reached up and touched his ear. "What is it, Finch?" he questioned. He listened for a few moments before looking at her. "Duty calls."

"New number?" she asked. She was still getting used to the idea of this super computer and how her friends got their information. But she was getting there. He nodded and she was sad that he was going to be leaving. "If you need any help, call," she told him.

"You are always my first call," he assured her and she looked away feeling sentimental over that. She was glad she was his first thought. "Carter?"

"What?" she asked not looking at him, afraid he'd see the fact that she didn't want him to go in her eyes.

"Look at me," he commanded and she was helpless to do anything except what he ordered. His blue eyes bored into her. "You'll find love, because you're a beautiful and an amazing woman. And when it happens it will happen when you least expect it," he promised before grabbing the car door handle, looking away as he climbed out. He leaned down and looked at her before giving her one of his rare smiles. "You have my word. Goodnight, Carter." he said quietly before straightening and sliding the door shut.

She watched helplessly as he walked away. "I think I already have." she whispered as she watched him until he disappeared into the night.

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AN: I swear this story came out of the blue to me, everything about it popped into my head one moment and I had to literally stop writing something else to work on this. Next chapter is in John's pov.

Thanks for reading, this story is going to be a mini little thing as it's only a handful of chapters :)


	2. Do People Change?

_**AN: This is in John's pov and there is a minor time jump.**_

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Two weeks later…

The elevator doors opened and John slowly exited. He was trying to find some semblance of his old self, the one he had been before he helped Joss take down HR, the man that kept a thick wall between himself and everyone else. He had isolated himself for years, trying to not feel too much, trying to not get close. The moment you did you were setting yourself up to get hurt. Kara had been right, they weren't just walking the dark, they had been the dark, and once that settled into his mentality it was hard to let it go. But he had gotten too close to Carter, from the very moment he met her.

She had reached out to him, not knowing whether he was good or bad and tried to help him. There was something about her, something that called to him. She was like a Siren and he could only hear her song, she entranced him, enthralled him from the first moment. Carter had flicked the caring woman to hard detective in seconds but even when she was harsher, all he saw was a woman trying to save him from himself. And then taking that walk on the bridge didn't seem so necessary anymore. The drowning feeling he had been submerged in before he met her faded just a bit, even though his head had felt like it was stuffed with cotton from drinking. He had wondered on more than one occasion if she felt the same connection he did for her. " _If something happens to you…I'll hate you forever,_ " raced through his head before he banished it.

But forcing himself to stop thinking about his connection to Carter only served to make him remember where he was headed. He wanted to feel that blissful disconnect, hide himself as he had been so good at doing before opening up a little to Joss, but he was having a hard time doing so. It had been a mistake to show up at her door on Valentine's Day to cheer her up because he wanted more and knew he couldn't have it. Zoe had texted him inviting him to Valentine's dinner and there was little doubt as to what she had been hoping would culminate with afterwards as it was their relationship, together one night and the urge would be gone for a while. But he had declined that night once he had realized Joss was alone.

He had called her to see what her plans were, to see if he needed to keep eyes on some lucky guy that managed to have her grace him with her presence. But she had seemed down and said she had no plans, before hanging up with him. It had bothered him so much that she had sounded lonely that he had showed up to her place with flowers, chocolates, and a movie that he overheard a swarm of single women at the rental store that would cheer them up. While he felt like a fish out of water, Carter seemed happy he was there as she gave him what he could only describe as a shy smile.

Ever since then he had more than one erotic fantasy about Joss, on more than one occasion had to relieve himself of the ache she created, but he didn't expect their relationship to go beyond friendship. Carter didn't want him in such a way, it was clear with the way she didn't want to talk about his unexpected kiss he gave her in the morgue. He could read between the lines, she didn't want to talk about it because she wanted to pretend it never happened. So he granted her, her wish, and let it fade away even though he reminisced about it whenever he was alone. Like the softness to her lips, her skin, and how he had wanted to deepen the kiss. Or how he wished for a repeat but somewhere else and wanted to trail his fingertips and follow that path with his mouth across her heavenly body…

John shelved thoughts of Carter away as he felt a stirring in his groin. He didn't want to be thinking about one woman while he was heading to another. He came to the door and he slowly raised his hand up and knocked. He heard soft footsteps before the door opened slowly and he was greeted with a comely smile.

"Hi John," Zoe greeted.

He forced a smile, forced himself to not wish he was at someone else's place, a certain beautiful detective's place. "Zoe, may I come in?" She grinned as she stepped aside to allow him in. Maybe if he reverted back to his old tendencies, old habits, then maybe the disconnected feeling would come back. It was familiar and safe.

She closed the door behind him. "My, I haven't had you drop by my place randomly in a while, so is this business or pleasure?" Zoe asked coyly. He eyed her, she knew full well had it been business he would have just called her.

He reached out, wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her to him. He kissed her as an answer, waiting for the lust that usually clouded his brain to come. Zoe sighed as she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him, sliding her tongue across his and his eyes opened. Nothing, the gentle rumbling of sexual desire he felt was still from thinking about Joss, but his ravenous desire for Zoe was gone. He always used her for sexual release as she did the same with him. Zoe pulled back, feeling his non-participation.

"You okay, John?" Zoe asked as he stepped back, now more tense than when he came here. Zoe looked a tad put off. He couldn't say he blamed her, he had come here for meaningless sex, but just the thought of crawling into this woman's bed had cooled his libido.

"I'm sorry," he murmured as he tensely paced her floor. What was the matter? This was familiar, this was safe…sex with Zoe was simple. He'd get her off, he'd get off, and that was that. He never had a problem getting aroused by her before, Zoe was a beautiful woman. So what was different?

Zoe eyed him quizzically. "You sure are wound up tonight, John typically I can help with that," she commented, her eyes narrowed on him. He felt her pointed gaze on him. "Well I'll be damned," she murmured as if she figured something out, her intense look gave way to a rueful smile.

"What?"

"You're interested in someone," she said knowingly.

He shook his head. "No, I'm not."

She gave a soft chuckle. "Yes you are. You seem to forget I know you better than you know yourself, John," she said as she got closer, peering up at him. "So who is the woman that has cultivated your attention?" she asked.

He remained silent as he stared down at her, but his thoughts drifted to Carter. "It's no one."

Zoe shook her head. "It has to be someone or we'd be already in bed, John. Is it the detective?" she questioned and he eyed her sharply. She smiled. "I figured eventually you'd come to terms with your feelings for her, you always had this look on your face whenever you gazed at her," she admitted as she stepped back, moving towards her kitchen. She needed a drink after this, being rejected even by a guy who was just for sex still stung.

"Carter deserves better," he murmured quietly.

Zoe paused and turned to look him directly. "There is no one better than you, John, in bed and out. However, you have to admit to yourself that you can't give her what she wants, which is everything. The detective isn't like you and I, we are only good for a night or two. We don't let people in and she'll want that, John."

Zoe was right. He didn't let people in, was scared too. It was why he had sought out Zoe's company to help bring back the disconnected feeling he was accustomed too.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you, Zoe," he whispered as he started backpedaling towards the door.

She shrugged. "Don't be a stranger, John." she said throatily, maybe she could salvage their arrangement. He whirled around and exited her place, she smiled to herself. John would be back once he realized he couldn't have what he wanted.

John walked down her hall, tugging out his cell phone and immediately called Carter. She answered after a couple of rings. "Hello, John, what do you need?" she asked with a playful lilt to her voice.

"I need you to meet me at Lyric Diner," he said quickly.

"Are you okay?" she asked concerned.

He closed his eyes after he entered the elevator and hit for the main floor. "Please Carter, I need you," he whispered the truth.

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

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He beat her by two minutes. He barely sat down at the table before she entered. Lyric Diner was basically empty except for them and one other patron, there was only one waitress. Joss slid into a chair across from him, they both ordered coffee, and the waitress left.

Joss looked at him, as if raking him with her keen detective gaze trying to obtain what was the matter without speaking. "What's up?"

"Do you believe people can change how they are?" he wondered. Her word meant everything and if she didn't believe people could change, then there was no hope.

She blinked in surprise. "What?"

"Do you believe people can change who they are fundamentally, Carter?" This woman changed him for the better but he was scared he wasn't ever going to be able to change his hard learned ways, the ways that kept him alone.

She leaned forward, laying her hand on his. "Of course people change, John. What's this about?" she asked before they both clammed up the moment the waitress appeared with their coffees, before disappearing again. He removed his hand from under hers, picking up his mug and took a sip of his black coffee. It was strong, as if made hours prior, but he didn't care.

Joss silently opened a packet of sugar and creamer before stirring it and turned her watchful gaze on him. "So… what's going on, John?" she asked.

"I just was wondering if you thought people could make new habits….for the better."

"Of course people can form new habits, John. I had a habit of relying on only myself and now I have you," she said softly. "I can't say it's easy to form new habits but it is doable. Why are you thinking about this, what habits are you trying to form?"

"Privacy and being alone is a habit, Joss," he said instead of answering her.

"Okay…" she led. He felt something form in his throat cutting him off. He couldn't say it. He couldn't say he didn't want to be alone anymore. "And that's one of your habits you want to change so you can be close to someone?" she asked cutting to the chase for him.

"Yes," he whispered thickly before clearing his throat. "Crazy huh?" he commented gruffly.

She smiled. "No, it's not crazy, John, you are a healthy middle aged man who wants more to his life than what he has now. What would be crazy is that you didn't want it," she said with a soft chuckle before drinking some coffee. "So what's stopping you?"

He looked down. "I was a killer, Joss, I don't think I should be allowed to get close to someone," he answered quietly.

"That was in your past when you were led to believe that you were protecting your country, John. You were lied to."

He looked up. "I still did it."

She shook her head. "No matter how hard you try I'll never see you as this monster because you're not. I've looked in the eyes of monsters before, John, and I can guarantee, without a shadow of a doubt, that you're not a monster. They have no remorse, they feel nothing over what they have done, and you-you feel everything, it's what makes you who you are, John."

"You always believe in me."

She smiled as she finished off her coffee. "Always, John, like you're always there for me whenever I need you; I'll always believe in you even when you don't believe in yourself. And I believe that you can make new habits, John, you just need to give yourself a chance. Take your time, go slowly, because it doesn't have to happen overnight. Forming new habits are hard, but you're not alone, you got me," she said with a slow smile. He stared at her as they got to their feet. He tugged out enough to pay for the coffees and give a generous tip, before they exited Lyric Diner.

"I should be going, I have an early morning tomorrow since I have a press conference to attend that announces me as the new Captain of the 8th," she said.

He nodded, smiling. "You deserve the promotion, Carter," he said without shock. He had overheard Captain Moreno, or former captain, give her the good news this afternoon.

"Were you listening in on me again?" she questioned, and he nodded a little.

"I'm always listening," he said softly.

She sighed. "Well I should be just happy you let me give you the good news," she huffed.

"I guess this is goodnight." he murmured.

Carter stared at him. "Yeah, I guess so," she agreed reluctantly. He looked away, about to turn to walk away. "John," she called quietly and he looked at her. "Everyone deserves a second chance, deserves love, and so do you. Never believe anything else," she said as she stepped close, rising up on her tip-toes pressing her lips against his cheek. John closed his eyes as his tongue restlessly pressed against his clenched teeth as he curled his hands into fists to resist grabbing her. She pulled her lips free of his cheek. She smiled as he opened his eyes and stared down at her. She reached up brushing his skin where she kissed. "Remember what you told me just a few weeks ago, you'll find love when you least expect it, so will you, just don't let those demons of yours get in the way of it. You're a good man, John, any woman would feel honored to be by your side," she said gently and his eyes misted over, before she stepped back.

She turned and he watched her walk to her car. "I think I already found the one I want by my side for life," he whispered as a lone tear managed to escape him and he immediately turned and disappeared into the shadows.

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AN: Next chapter I think you guys will enjoy :) Thanks for reading!


	3. Whatever This Is

_**AN: So this was supposed to be posted on Friday but have you ever had a day where you were so busy you couldn't breathe? That was where I was at Friday and then I crashed on the weekend. So here it is, sorry for the wait.**_

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Joss was beat. It had been her first day as Captain, a good but long day. She lost count of the number of well wishes she had received from other detectives that she had been sure didn't like her. Maybe now that she was their boss they figured they had to suck up to her. Fusco regretted not having her as his partner any longer, which meant she had a spot to fill. She was going to take her time filling that spot, wanting him to have the best partner he could have in her place.

Her first order of business as Captain was to get everyone to understand that she wasn't about to change any of the policies that Moreno put in place and that she was going to run a tight ship herself. Maybe even tighter, because she was going to make damn well sure nothing like HR ever happens in her precinct. If someone so much as was rumored to be dirty they were going to be investigated and removed if need to be.

She entered her home, sliding her pantsuit blazer off before unbuckling her holster. It was nice to be home in her air conditioned place, it was hot and muggy outside and that just was going to get worse. She was going to take a nice warm soothing bath, and then nuke herself a TV dinner since her boy was going to a Yankees game with his dad.

"Welcome home," a soft masculine voice she'd recognize anywhere caused her to jump a mile as John popped out of her kitchen.

Joss tried to work her mouth to say something but at the moment she was rendered speechless. John was standing in the entranceway of her kitchen looking like he belonged there. He was wearing his typical man-in-the-suit attire albeit more relaxed as he was sans the blazer, his dress shirt was untucked and unbuttoned with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and giving her a nice glimpse of his flat stomach. His tight white undershirt was tucked neatly into his dress slacks and he looked so damn good. Her tongue felt stuck to the roof of her mouth. His hair was free of that awful hairspray, she noticed he was wearing his hair just a little longer than normal, and it looked good. His soft hair fell onto his forehead and his cowlick still stood tall.

"You…how…wh…?" she stammered motioning at him with her hand and groaned inwardly at how she sounded. John had the ability to make her lose all cognitive thought.

He stared at her. "Before you yell at me, your son let me in before he left," he murmured softly.

Joss was grateful that John didn't seem to notice that she still hadn't managed to say anything remotely that resembled a complete sentence because he disappeared back into her kitchen. She felt like she could breathe again without being struck by how incredibly handsome John looked relaxed and in her place before she sniffed the air. It sure smelled good in here. She followed the aroma and stared at John as he stood near her stove. His suit blazer hung on the back of one of her dining room chairs, his gun rested on the counter next to a bag.

John turned to eye her. "I hope you like moussaka."

"Never had it," she admitted.

He gave her a soft smile. "Then you're in for a treat, Carter. I had a version of it when I was in Romania but it was made with potatoes and pork. This is the traditional Greek version with eggplant and ground beef and topped off with béchamel sauce," he said before he turned back to the stove and was stirring something—most likely the béchamel sauce. Joss sauntered over smiling at the tossed salad he had prepared as a side dish, noting the bottle of red wine that was a fine year, and eyed a bag on her counter. She eyed the square cardboard white-box inside the bag, and lifted the lid.

"Mmm, chocolate éclairs, my favorite," she said with a sigh as she eyeballed them. First dinner then dessert!

"I know."

Joss rolled her eyes, of course he knew what her favorite dessert was. "So what's the occasion?"

"This is celebratory for becoming Captain. I offered to make a plate for your son but he declined."

"He was going to a Yankees game with his dad," she said. "Do you mind if I head upstairs to change?" she asked. She wanted to change from her work clothes as she had him here for a quiet and intimate dinner.

"I don't mind."

She nodded as she inhaled the intoxicating scent of what he was making. Her eyes drifted over him as he was focused on cooking, she forced herself to turn and hurry to her stairs. Joss breezed up the stairs undressing leaving a trail of her clothes on her bedroom floor, as she hurried to her bathroom turning on the curling iron, before padding back into bedroom towards her closet. She rummaged through it finding her black skinny-jeans, grabbing them before looking through her closet for a blouse to wear. She made a face as she went through shirt after shirt. Too ugly, too over-the-top, too underwhelming, too much cleavage, not enough cleavage…she exhaled in annoyance as she came to the last of her closet. She tugged out the lavender colored form-fitting blouse that had a peek-a-boo cutout dipping modestly for a hint of cleavage, and eyed it with a smile. The color reminded her of the dress shirt John wore for her when they sat down for the first time at Lyric Diner.

Joss immediately tugged the shirt off the hanger, pulling it on, before tugging her jeans on. She rushed to her bathroom, and smiled at the ensemble. It was sexy but not overtly. Joss felt butterflies in her stomach, and cursed herself. She needed to chill out, this dinner was for a celebration not for a date, even if she would love nothing more than it to be one.

She banished that particular thought away as she was going to enjoy what she got from him. Joss curled her hair slightly, before she touched up her makeup, before spritzing herself with Jasmine on the small patch of skin on her chest. Even if this wasn't a real date didn't mean she shouldn't get to primp and prepare like it was one. She grinned at her reflection before whirling around and hurrying out back to her closet finding her 5 inch spiky black heels, slid her feet into them and felt like a million bucks before she made a beeline for her door to get back to her non-date with John.

Joss pressed her hands against her clothes as she hurried back towards the kitchen. "Thanks for letting me freshen up, John." she said and was grateful she said it before she entered her kitchen. Because John was bent over taking the moussaka out of her oven and she knew she'd have stuttered like a moron had she seen this while trying to speak words. How he made a simple thing like taking food out of an oven with her pink oven mitt on sexy was beyond her, but he did.

"You're back just in time, Carter, the moussaka is…" he said as he turned to look at her and his voice trailed off. Joss shifted a little as he stared at her.

"Is what?" she hinted as she walked up to him. She smiled up at him, but with her heels on she wasn't at such a disadvantage in the height department. His eyes were glued to the patch of skin of her chest.

John stared. Joss took his breath away. She made a casual outfit look drop dead sexy. He forced his gaze off the patch of skin, before his eyes dipped to her breasts. "Finished." he said suddenly and she jumped a little in surprise. "The moussaka is finished." he said quickly before turning, with his eyes widening at himself.

"I'll get us wineglasses and set the table." she murmured.

John kept his eyes on the task at hand which was filling their plates up with the moussaka while she was busy preparing the table for them. Distracting himself with the mundane job of getting their food would help prevent him from focusing on Carter and how damn hot she looked.

She got the table set and poured them glasses of wine while he filled their plates and bowls with moussaka and the tossed salad. He carried their plates, while she took the bowls. She inhaled. "Mmm, it smells so good." She sat down and watched in dismay as he grabbed his parted shirt tugging it together to start buttoning it. "What are you doing?" she asked as she watched him begin buttoning his shirt.

He glanced at her. "Re-buttoning my shirt,"he said with a smirk.

"Why?" she liked the relaxed look, it seemed like he let down his guard with her and she wanted that to stay. "If you think you need to button your shirt up for me, you don't. I actually like that you felt comfortable enough to relax here while you cooked me dinner," she admitted.

"Oh," John grimaced at his stupid reply but Joss threw him with what sounded like happiness, that he felt calm in her home. She looked down at her plate and he sighed as he slid into the chair across from her, leaving his shirt parted. "I always am with you." he admitted and she looked up.

"You always are what John?"

"Comfortable. Around you. I mean at your place, I feel comfortable," he said, stuttering really wishing he had thought this through.

She smiled. "Good, I'm glad."

He exhaled miserably as he looked at his plateful of food, stabbing his fork into his food in anger at himself. He sounded like he didn't belong in her proximity, which he didn't. This woman gave him butterflies in his stomach which he hadn't felt since he was a damn teenager, he thought he'd outgrown this.

Joss stabbed her fork into the food he prepared for her, lost in thought. John sure seemed flustered all of a sudden. She flicked a quick glance at him and he wasn't looking at her. She wondered what was running through that beautiful head of his.

Slowly they both relaxed and dinner went by quickly as they talked about things, they settled into her living room with their wine and the éclairs. "Thank you for this, John," she said appreciatively. She enjoyed the intimate evening with him.

He looked at her. "You're welcome," he murmured softly.

Joss liked how unaccustomed he was to being thanked. It was another cute facet about John that she loved. She picked up an éclair and bit into it, moaning. These were so good. She closed her eyes as she savored the taste. Once she swallowed the small bit of ecstasy, she reopened her eyes and noticed John was staring at her.

"What?" she demanded as she touched her fingertips to her lips.

"N-nothing," he looked away and grabbed an éclair for himself, while resting his wineglass beside hers. Joss eyed him suspiciously before nearly choking on her saliva as he ate his éclair and his tongue darted out to lick at some chocolate that rested on the corner of his mouth. "Mmm, these are good." he said quietly, before sucking on his thumb.

She glared at him, suddenly she was hungry for something else entirely. She stuffed the last of her éclair into her mouth before she did or said something that would destroy their friendship. Her eyes watched as he slid his hand down onto his lap, hoping against hope he wouldn't eat another éclair, she wasn't sure if she had the willpower to not act on the simmering sensations circling them. Thankfully he didn't and she closed the lid of the box.

They sat talking, blissfully tuning out the sexual tension that seemed to be building between them. She yawned heavily. "I should go, Carter, you're tired," he said quietly.

She looked at him and shook her head. "No, stay for a little while longer, please." She didn't want him to go just yet.

He nodded. He glanced at his watch seeing it was a little after ten, but he was sure Joss didn't sleep well with nerves of her first day as Captain. "Lean back, Carter," he murmured and she eyed him but did as he asked. John grabbed her legs lifting them onto his lap, removing her spiked heels. She didn't say anything as he rested her right leg in his lap, before he ran his hand on her instep. He pressed his thumb then circled, massaging her foot.

She sighed. "Oh my, you're good at that. I'll have to commission you to give me a full body massage." she muttered as she closed her eyes.

He didn't say a word as he continued to massage her left foot. He concentrated on her foot for a good half hour, before switching feet. He started massaging her right foot and he glanced at her, seeing she was fast asleep. He smiled adoringly. John silently removed her feet from on his lap and stood up before bending over her and scooped her up into his arms.

He stared at her as he straightened, cuddling her closer to his body. He ignored the surge of desire he felt as he forced his gaze off of her and walked to the stairs, carrying her up. She was light in his arms and he entered her bedroom. He set her down gently on her bed, making sure he didn't jostle her awake as he pulled back her comforter and picked her back up to settle her under it. He drew the comforter up and over her.

John stroked his fingertips against her soft cheek. "Goodnight, Joss." he whispered before leaning over and kissing her cheek softly. He reached over into her nightstand knowing she kept stationary in there from the last time he sought out paper and pen to leave her a note. He scribbled a note and signed it before folding it and placing it on the nightstand beside her. He touched her face again and she sighed. He smiled as her chest rose and fell evenly. "I love you," he said quietly, testing the foreign words, and grateful she was sound asleep. She remained curled on her side, looking even more beautiful asleep.

He glanced at her one last time before he strode to her bedroom door. He exited and jumped when her son stood there, leaning against the wall just before the door, looking smug, clearly eavesdropping. "So Mr. Badass, when are you going to tell my mom how you feel when she's awake?" he demanded.

John swallowed hard as he had been so lost in Carter he hadn't heard her son return home. He turned to look away from her son's hyper observant gaze to slowly close his mother's door. He looked back at the teen that had a Cheshire grin on his face.

"Taylor, I didn't realize you were coming home so early," John said instead.

"Game ended on time, but nice try John, you are not changing the subject. What's going on between you and my mom?" he demanded.

Taylor had been waiting nearly two and a half years for them to do something about what he saw between them. He had been a little shocked and saddened when his mom started dating Cal but he wanted her happy. And he knew he couldn't budge his mom but he could Mr. Badass. John was smitten with his mom and didn't hide it that well.

He sighed. "Are we still on for basketball on Saturday?" he asked as he sidestepped the boy going for the stairs. They'd been playing one-on-one basketball for a while at the private gym Finch purchased for them to train, exercise, and, in Harold's case, for therapy.

"Yes, but come on John, spill. You are in love with my mom?!" Taylor exclaimed and he sighed as they reached the landing.

He turned to look at her kid who seemed supremely happy. "It doesn't matter how I feel, Taylor."

"Yeah it does, you and my mom would be awesome together, like a badass duo who is in love. They could make movies about you," Taylor said with a smirk.

John made a face. "I prefer not, and I think your mother would disagree," he countered as he headed to the kitchen where his suit blazer and gun were. He needed to leave.

Taylor rolled his eyes as he followed him into the kitchen. He wasn't letting up, when John came over earlier he had been hoping it was for a date, but John dashed that hope. But now, overhearing what he did, he wasn't about to give John an inch. His mother's happiness meant everything to him and John would be perfect for his mom. He wasn't boring for his mom, they cared about one another, and they enjoyed one another's company. He already had a future step-mom, it would be nice to know that his mom found love again, and having Mr. Badass as a possible step-dad was cool.

"Come on John, take a chance, my mom might surprise you and have the same feelings," he nudged as he leaned his forearms on the kitchen island.

"Your mother deserves better," John said robotically as he positioned his gun at the back of his pants before grabbing his suit blazer.

"Better than who?—you? You have no idea what it meant to my mom that you saved my life, there is no one better than you in her eyes, John."

John tugged his suit blazer on. "I would never let anything happen to you, Taylor."

"I know and she knows that too. John, you and my mom are perfect for one another. You have her back and she needs that, she has yours too."

"Taylor, I think you want me and your mom to get together because you want it, not because she wants it." He turned and walked out of the kitchen and Taylor followed him. Taylor stopped leaning against the railing of the staircase, eyeing John as he moved to the foyer to leave. As he saw it, John was scared his mom didn't want him, and wasn't acting on his feelings out of fear of rejection. "Goodnight, Taylor." he said before turning and exiting the home.

Taylor shook his head as he locked the door. "Fine, don't tell her, but don't expect me to keep your secret." he said to himself with a smirk. Eventually his mom and Mr. Badass would find their way to one another, because you can't fight against true love. With that in mind he turned and went upstairs.

* * *

AN: Next chapter is it unless my friend Elaine, who is a godsend and just awesome, thinks I should do one more chapter. I always take her advice into account since this was the original end and she thought I was insane and requested a chapter 4. I guess I enjoyed the idea of ending it on Careese's mantra of: whatever this is, with sexual tension swirling around them. Although I may be in the minority there however I'm easily swayed to write more Careese :D

Thanks for reading XOXOXOXOXOXOX


	4. Until There Was You

_**AN: One minor thing I added something that Elaine suggested to this after she already got it back to me so there will be some mistakes just an fyi and this chapter is long!  
**_

* * *

Harold limped his way into the library with Bear in tow. "I finally figured out what's going on between Reese and Carter," Shaw said as a way of acknowledgement of his presence as she sat at his desk in his chair, waiting for him.

"You're here early, Ms. Shaw, and I didn't know you were trying to figure Mr. Reese and Detective Carter out," Harold murmured as he let Bear off his leash. Bear made a mad dash to her.

"Hey, sexy," she greeted her favorite member of team machine. She rubbed Bear's head before the dog hurried to his dog-bed and found the bone she had purchased for him. "I've been doing research on those two for a while now," she said with a distracted glance to him.

They were good at pretending. Carter pretended to not be into Reese and Reese pretended to not be into Carter. However, neither one knew that their nosy mutual friend had been watching and listening in on them, trying to determine what was going on between them. It had been bugging her since they worked Ian Murphy's case. Now she knew what that something was, but love wasn't something she understood or she could easily identify, not like lust.

"Dare I ask what conclusion you have come to?"

"Reese and Carter love each other," she announced, pleased with herself as she pulled some candy out of her pocket before swinging her legs on his desk with gusto, kicked back in his chair, popped a York peppermint patty into her mouth, and clasped her hands behind her head.

"Mr. Reese and Detective Carter are in love with one another." Finch said, he had figured John had more than friendly feelings for the detective, but hadn't known the depth of the feelings.

She nodded. "Yep, Carter and Reese both have it bad for each other," she answered around a mouthful of food. "Friends, my ass," she complained.

Finch turned and smiled. He was just glad John found someone and the detective was a very dear friend. And with John being in love with a woman that knew of their operation meant John had more freedom to be himself than with an outsider. John didn't need to do any more hiding as he has been hiding for most of his adult life, and Detective Carter loved John for who he was, just as Mr. Reese loved the detective the same.

But something was bothering him as he turned to eye the smug former assassin. "And how were you privy to such information, Ms. Shaw?" He didn't believe for one moment that Mr. Reese or the detective sought out Ms. Shaw to speak about their feelings. No, Mr. Reese and Jocelyn were both private individuals and would not willingly expose any of their private feelings to anyone including friends such as himself, Detective Fusco, or Ms. Shaw.

Shaw shifted a little, caught, but then shrugged. "I overheard their lovey-dovey talks on the bugs I placed on them." Finch pinched the bridge of his nose. He supposed he couldn't reprimand her for being zealous, as he and Mr. Reese each had a bug and tracking device on her as well.

"Bear in mind you did not receive this information from either Mr. Reese or Detective Carter, so you must keep it to yourself, Ms. Shaw."

She snorted. "To hell with that, it's not like either one of them will do something about their feelings, I'll give them a little nudge'" she said, swinging her legs off the desk with limberness. She'd grab any hot guy, liquor him up then saddle him with Carter, and let jealousy run through Reese. He'd maul her by the end of the night. Or, Carter had a jealous streak in her so she could switch it up. Shaw would enjoy watching Reese have his hands full with a snarky Carter. She wondered how much a slutty stripper would cost.

"Ms. Shaw, I'm afraid to you, what would be a nudge, would be more like a shove. You, yourself, described yourself as a hammer. John and Jocelyn have been hurt by love previously and have built a solid friendship which is a great foundation for everlasting love, but helping them find one another needs a bit more finesse."

Shaw eyed him. "What do you have in mind?" As she saw it, if she helped Reese and Carter get together they'd be indebted to her and she could call in favors whenever she wanted. She licked her lips at the Prime Ribs she'd force Reese to buy her for getting him Carter.

He immediately shook his head. "Oh no, I am not getting involved. John would surely be upset if his friends tried to match-make him with the detective." And he could not fathom Jocelyn feeling any different either. When they were ready to tell one another how they feel then the time will come. "Ms. Shaw, let John and the detective figure things out for themselves, as we have a new number to work. Or rather he's a recurring number," Finch said as he motioned for her to move out of his way.

Shaw got to her feet and he slid into the seat she vacated. "Who?"

"Leon Tao, a former number who has been a number a few times already. He just doesn't seem to be able to remain out of trouble. Mr. Reese has a short fuse when it comes to him as John has had to save him three separate times previously."

Shaw's lips curled into a smirk. So Reese disliked this guy, eh? Finch brought up a photo of this Leon and she immediately recognized him as that paramedic she wanted to shoot. "Okay, Finch, I have an idea."

Harold looked up and he nearly paled at the look on her face. "Oh dear, I truly believe I'm going to regret this, but what do you have in mind, Ms. Shaw?"

* * *

Today dragged.

Maybe it was because this morning she woke up alone, in her same clothes from the night before, and depressed that she had fallen asleep on John again. She had found the note beside her on the nightstand from him, expressing that he had a nice time and he'd talk to her soon. She had been more than a little annoyed that she had fallen asleep during the time he had given her that outstanding foot massage and the night ended far too early. But in her defense the man gave one of the best foot massage's she ever had in her life, she had become boneless as the tension in her seeped away, and her eyes drooped close against her will.

And by the time she had gone downstairs after she showered, changed into work clothes, and internally berated herself for falling asleep her boy was already up and looked like he had a damned secret. They had gone out to breakfast together at Cosmic Diner and on more than one occasion he seemed about to tell her something but stopped. He made an odd comment though, that it wasn't fair to John because he had eavesdropped on him and not because John wanted to tell him, so he couldn't tell her. It was kind of cute how her son had seemed so torn about telling her whatever it was but in the end his conscience won out and he wouldn't tell her out of respect to John's privacy. Though it did make her wonder what her boy had heard.

But once she got to work she tried to shelf her thoughts about John away for a later time, which wasn't too hard because she pretty much had an entire precinct to manage. She had to meet with detectives to hear how their cases were going, what leads they had, if any. Then she had interviewed a few detectives for the new opening in homicide that she vacated. Some were from her precinct, others were from other precincts, all looking to have that promotion. The only thing she hated about her new job was the boring duty of going out to lunch with the mayor every other Thursday along with the other captains from the other precincts to give him the 411 on what was going on. Those were going to be the death of her...death by boredom.

She rolled her shoulders as her desk phone rang. She grabbed it. "Carter," she greeted.

"Hello, Captain," Joss smiled as John's voice washed over her.

"I like the sound of that," she admitted. It sounded even sexier coming from him then his drawn out and husky 'detective'. "You know you could have awakened me before you left last night," she said as she leaned back.

"You needed the rest."

"Thank you for last night, I truly had a nice time."

"Me too."

And silence blanketed them once more. It wasn't uncomfortable but it felt like there were things left unspoken between them. "So why are you calling, John?" she asked, unable to take the overwhelming quiet.

"I need your help."

"Sure, what file do you need me to pull?"

"Nothing like that, Carter, I actually need backup. Shaw and Finch are unavailable to help me with a new number," he said, sounding somewhat aggravated that they were unavailable.

"I'm there, where are you?" she demanded as she got to her feet, tugging her suit blazer off the back of her chair, before grabbing her piece and holster. She didn't work the field anymore but she never went home without it, not when you had friends like John.

"Head to Brighton Beach and I'll find you, dress casual Carter."

"Why?"

"Because I need you to blend in with the other people that are heading to the beach," he murmured and she heard a beep on her cell phone. She glanced at it and saw he had texted her a photo of a guy. "That's our number. I slipped a GPS tracker on him and it is lighting up there but he knows what I look like, so he'll go running."

She smiled. "So you want me to by your eyes?"

"Yea, maybe strike up a conversation with him, so I can stop whatever is going to happen to Leon."

She furrowed her brows. "Where have I seen him before?" she questioned.

John's long suffering sigh told her it was someone he wished he didn't see. "He's a former number who has a penchant for landing himself in the middle of trouble. Finch and Shaw both immediately bailed the moment his number came up, sticking him with me. And he's being purposely evasive." Joss could imagine the scowl on his face judging by the tone of his voice.

"So he's the victim?"

"Yes, from me."

She giggled. "Now, now, John, did you ever think maybe he just enjoys your company so he gets into trouble constantly?" she teased him gently. John made a sound. "I'll be there as soon as I can," she said and hung up with John.

* * *

Joss arrived near Brighton Beach as he asked and he stared. She was wearing a yellow halter-neck sundress that reached mid-thigh. It was a summery color and it popped off of Carter. He forced himself to react as he connected with her. "You're looking good, Carter."

She smiled warmly. "Thanks, I bought this in May in anticipation of summer. Finally got the damn chance to wear it, but I don't see our boy," she admitted as she walked.

John showed his teeth as more than one man that walked past Carter turned around to look at her from behind. John stormed from loitering near a newsstand and followed behind her from at a safe distance. John purposely got close to the man that finally managed to pull his leering gaze off of Carter's ass and pickpocketed him and threw his wallet in the trash. That would teach him to pay more attention to his surroundings than to a woman's ass!

"He's here, somewhere Carter," he murmured as his own eyes drifted down Carter settling on her butt.

She didn't respond. "I think I found him," she said. John hung back and, sure enough, Leon was standing in line at a hotdog vendor.

Joss found their mark and slid behind him. "I hate lines," she murmured. And, as she wanted, he turned around to look at her. He blinked and smiled.

"Yeah, me too, but sometimes they can help you meet people," he said and she shrugged. "I'm Leon."

"Joss," she greeted.

"You look familiar, Joss, have we met before?"

She shook her head. "I don't believe so," she said quickly, before steering the conversation off of her. They talked for a few minutes until the line moved and it was finally Leon's turn.

Once Leon ordered his and received his hotdog it was her turn. She hastily ordered a soda and hotdog to keep eyes on Leon but as she turned and found him waiting for her, she didn't have to worry about him leaving without her. She sidled up next to him.

"You're so hot," he said and it took everything in her to not roll her eyes at Leon as she took a bite of her hotdog.

"Hello Leon," they both turned and looked, finding John who had poofed out of nowhere. Joss nearly choked on her food taking a quick sip of her soda to not cough as she got a load of John. He was wearing casual clothes himself trying to blend in and he couldn't blend in if he tried. John was wickedly sexy with his hair windblown, sunglasses, white-wash distressed jeans that fit him like a glove. His powder blue Nike collared polo was neatly tucked in and she stared as she distractedly took another bite of her hotdog not tasting a damn thing. She was hyper aware of how close John was standing to her, with his soft palm touching her elbow.

Leon sighed. "Look, I know I left you in a lurch, John, but I'm fine now. Your psycho hot friend helped me out with the little trouble I had earlier. I didn't know that the Belgian mafia was so territorial over their money. I didn't think they'd miss a couple thousand."

"Uh, what do you expect when you steal from them?" Joss demanded as she munched on her hotdog. She was starving. And her eyes were starving to eat John up some more because the man looked so damned good in jeans, so she discreetly as she could leaned back just a bit to take a sneak peek at his butt, yep, John looked _really_ good in jeans.

John, however, was more focused on what Leon said about the psycho friend then to notice her staring at his backside. "Shaw was here?"

Leon nodded and after he swallowed some of his food he spoke. "Yea I thought you knew she took care of the guys that were coming after me but she took all the money. Now I'm broke, couldn't she have left me even with a couple hundreds?! I had to use my last five dollars to buy myself this hotdog."

"Shaw, the short brunette that looks angry even when she smiles, saved you?" John demanded.

"Yeah, super-hot babe, but I'm not into a dominatrix…anymore. She threatened to shoot me if I get into trouble again. Isn't that defeating the purpose of saving my life?" Leon said before taking a large bite into his hotdog. Leon looked at Joss. "So want to walk with me?" he asked around his food, she immediately tore her gaze off of John's butt, and eyed Leon.

"No she doesn't." John stated, as his hand curled tighter around her elbow possessively. Joss flicked his hand a look, then his face. She rolled her eyes. Speaking of territorial, John suddenly seemed territorial over her damn arm and personal space as she tried to take a step back but couldn't.

"John, I can handle myself," she said defiantly before looking at Leon. "No, Leon, I don't want to go on a walk with you, sorry." Leon shrugged as he stuffed his hotdog into his mouth turning and walking away. She shook her head and looked at John. He looked angry. "Don't kill our small friend."

Oh he wasn't going to kill her, he was going to torture her for sticking him with Leon's number again and then working the number, and not bothering to tell him she had saved his sorry ass! Finch was preoccupied with Root and while it wasn't unlike Shaw to work a number even if she deemed it 'lame', what was odd was the fact that she hadn't called him so he didn't waste his time. Usually Shaw enjoyed gloating, unless of course this was her way of getting back at him for working his number of a person that could make a nun want to kill him.

He reluctantly released Carter's soft elbow as they turned to walk towards Brighton Beach together. "Thanks for the backup, Captain, even if it was for nothing."

She smiled as she looked up at him, wishing he didn't have his sunglasses on so she could see his pretty eyes. "Anytime," she reassured before she paused near a trash bin and threw away her paper cup and the napkin. That hotdog would hold her off until she got home and called for takeout. "I guess I should be going," she said unenthusiastically. When John just looked at her, she sighed as she turned to walk back the way she had come to go to her car.

He watched her walking away and he had so much he wanted to say, he just didn't know if he should or could. He hadn't been able to with Jessica. She had walked away in the airport because he hadn't had the courage to ask her to wait for him, he had been too damn scared. Could he keep quiet for a second time and let another woman he loved slip through his fingers?

"Joss, wait." he called out and froze. He hadn't expected those words to escape him but as she stopped and turned to look back at him, he had to tell her how he felt. He wasn't going to lose another woman due to fear of getting close.

She looked at John in pleasant surprise. She wouldn't ever admit to the fact that she felt shivers every time he used her first name. "Yea, John?"

"Can we talk?" he asked quietly.

She looked at him. He sounded unsure and hesitant but also determined. "Of course we can talk." She walked back to him and he motioned to the beach. She shrugged and followed him out onto it. She slipped her sandals off, carrying them in her one hand, and walked in the sand barefoot. He remained silent while they walked the shoreline. The gentle waves sounded as the sun began to set. The wind picked up because there were storms on the way, mussing up her hair and his as well. It sent his short hair crashing onto his forehead.

After a few moments of them just walking the sandy beach together, she glanced up at his profile with a playful smile. "So that was an invigorating conversation, John," she teased.

His lips twitched into a tiny smile before it was gone. He turned to look out at the ocean, but he didn't speak. Something was weighing on him and she didn't know what. Joss gently grabbed his hand with her free one, tugging on it to stop them. She stepped in front of him directly and stared up at his obscured eyes.

"John what's wrong, talk to me," she cajoled sweetly.

"It's just I've been thinking."

"Okay, about what?" she prodded for more when he stopped for a few moments without saying anything else. John sometimes needed nudging out of that hermit shell he crawled into every so often with her.

"Did you mean what you said, the other night, about me finding someone?" he asked quietly.

"Yes I meant every word, John, any woman would feel honored to be by your side. Why?"

"Carter, would you…I mean you are…" he stuttered and Joss felt bad for John. He was trying so hard to spit out whatever was bothering him as he sucked in a breath, appearing to gear up to start over again. "Carter…"

"Hold that thought, John." she stilted his floundering attempt. She reached up silently removing his sunglasses that obscured her view of those eyes of his, those lovely translucent and exposing eyes that laid everything he felt bare, whether or not he knew it. Her eyes found his as she settled his sunglasses on the hem of her sundress, nestled near her breasts.

His eyes dipped down where his sunglasses laid, before flicking back up to meet her gaze. "Much better," she murmured. "Now you were saying, John."

"Where were we?" he asked gently, buying himself time. His mind whirled as he tried to figure out the right words to tell her how much she meant to him, to see if she would be willing to be the woman that wanted to be by his side.

"You asked if I meant what I said and I told you 'yes,' I did, and now it seems you have more to say," she said as she shifted her weight from one leg to the other before crossing her arms across her chest. "John, just say whatever it is. Nothing will ever change our friendship."

He stared at her pleadingly. "Promise me that, Carter."

She leaned back startled. John never asked for a promise and she could hear his anguish, he honestly thought whatever he wanted to tell her would ruin their friendship. She reached out and grabbed his hand. "You have my word, John. There is nothing in the world that you could tell me that will make me walk away from you or our friendship," she said steadily, staring up into his hard gaze. His expression was unreadable but his eyes held a vulnerability she was sure he didn't realize. "Nothing, you got that?" she tacked on, wanting an affirmation from him he understood.

Once he nodded she relaxed and let go of his hand. When he still didn't speak she just looked out to the ocean, letting him bide his time. She knew he would when he felt ready. "The sunset is so beautiful." she murmured. She turned her head when she heard children's laughter, seeing a man and a woman with two kids running into the ocean. She looked back at John who was staring at her. She looked away, dropping her sandals in the sand before she sat down on the beach. She stretched her legs out in front of her, making sure her dress didn't go up from the wind.

She looked up at him and he blinked in surprise as she padded the sand beside her. "It looks like we're going to be here for a while, if you need to muster up some courage to say whatever it is you want to say to me. May as well sit on the beach and watch the beautiful sunset," she said. He looked a little unsure before getting down to sit beside her on the sand. They sat facing the water and sun. "Tell me when was the last time you got to sit, relax, and watch the sun go down, John?"

He smiled a little. "I don't remember."

"Too long then, John, you got to live life more, actually experience it, instead of just coasting," she murmured.

He was quiet for a few minutes. "For a long time I didn't want to live my life, Carter," he said hesitantly. He felt her gaze swing from the sunset to him in seconds. But he kept his eyes on the water, resting his forearms on his knees.

"You mentioned you lost yourself when you lost someone, was that someone Jessica?"

He mutely nodded. "She was everything to me and I kept her at arms' length, not for her but for myself," he said as he quickly looked at her.

"You're human, John, you don't always have to have the right answers or be perfect. You were just trying to find your way."

"Every woman before Jessica I ended things before it got too…" he trailed off not knowing the right word.

"Heavy?" she supplied. He looked at her. "You ended things before it became too much for you to handle. Typical man and his commitment phobia, I bet you left a trail of broken hearts."

He laughed gently. "I never met a woman that made me want to try. For a long time I didn't believe in love. My mom and dad loved one another with their entire souls and it still ended."

"Your father died, but their love didn't. Your mother still loved your father, John, even after he died."

He nodded. "I know, but try to convince that to an immature rebellious boy who had a bone to pick with the world for taking his dad from him." he commented dryly. "That rebellious boy turned into a teen that got into trouble and was a cocky prick until his Drill Sargent busted his ass down in front of everyone," he said with a hint of nostalgia.

"I'd pay money to have seen that," she giggled at the mere thought of a twenty year old John getting his ass chewed out at boot camp. "So the brokenhearted boy who grew up without a male influence lashed out and found himself thrust into the military, floated to and fro because he had no personal ties, never getting close to anyone until he met Jessica and she changed his mind?" It sounded magical if you asked her, no wonder why he lost himself after she died.

"She was the first one that made me think twice about being alone."

"Same for me with Paul. I didn't need any guy, had no time for them until in walked Paul and I swear to god I was speechless," she said.

John bumped her shoulder softly. "Joss Carter speechless, I don't believe it." She glared at him in mock indignation.

"Quiet you, we were talking about you," she said. "So Jessica made perpetual bachelor John want to give up his solitary ways?"

"Something like that," he whispered. They fell into silence, just watching the sunset as they were both lost in their own thoughts. She knew that wasn't what he wanted to say but he seemed a little more relaxed since speaking about it and she didn't mind because she loved learning more about John.

He swallowed hard as he swiftly gave her a sidelong glance. "And I haven't felt that way since with anyone," he murmured.

Joss tried to keep her face from falling. "Oh." She tried to swallow her disappointment that her feelings were unrequited, that the kiss in the morgue really hadn't been anything besides John wanting human contact.

"Until now," he said and she looked at him suddenly.

"You found someone who makes you think twice about being alone?" she asked and he nodded. "Who?" she asked, praying that the reason he was stuttering and unable to spit it out was because she was the woman.

"You," he whispered. "You made me think twice about being alone, Joss." She froze as her heart thundered, unsure he was really saying these words or was it all wishful thinking. John shifted a little "I was wondering if when you said any woman would be honored to be by my side included you too?" he asked, sounding so hopeful, she wanted to reassure him that she would love nothing more than that, but she just stared at him. She just needed a moment to process the fact that he was actually saying this to her. "Carter?" he prompted tentatively. She heard him but she remained silent unable to say or do anything right about now except stare at him. Maybe fist pump in happiness but then she'd look like an immature adolescent in front of him. John looked uncomfortable under her stare, as if he was waiting for her to say something, he looked away as he got to his feet.

Joss blinked as she realized he was leaving as he was already walking away. She scrambled to her feet, running to catch up to him, forgetting her sandals. "Wait John!" she ran to get in front of him and forced him to stop walking.

"Forget I said anything, Carter."

"John, just let me say something," she pleaded. He just glanced at her, waiting, and she exhaled. She needed to do this more than to speak, sometimes action spoke louder than words, so she reached out grabbing his stubble roughened cheeks and tugged him to her and kissed him.

They both froze as their lips touched, his eyes were open but half slits staring into hers before they slid closed as he kissed her back. Joss circled her arms around his neck as her eyes closed too as she agreeably handed over control of the kiss to him. Their first kiss in the morgue had been nothing like this. She felt one of his hands slide into her hair and the other cup her cheek with his thumb gently rubbing her jaw as his mouth moved on hers. She kissed him back with equal fervor.

John angled his head to deepen the kiss, forgetting he was in the middle of a beach kissing Joss. He sighed as she was kissing him back this time, an equal participant, and he felt wanted, something he hadn't felt in a long while. And by her, which meant everything to him.

This kiss was necessary more so than breathing. She felt his tongue against her lips and immediately opened them. John's tongue stroked hers thoroughly. Joss moaned softly as he sucked on her upper lip before tearing his lips from hers after several moments of kissing her like his life depended on it when they heard a disturbing amount of whistles, catcalls, and 'get it bros'.

He felt his cheeks redden as not only women were grinning at them but men were too. Joss buried her face into his chest at having gotten lost in the moment which collected them far too many admirers watching their PDA. She wasn't one for such things but with John sometimes she didn't think.

"How embarrassing," she said which was muffled by his shirt. She lifted her head to peek out hoping the stares were gone. When people were sure the show was over and shuffling forward once more she relaxed. John still had guys calling out to him to go get himself some and she rolled her eyes. She glanced up at him as she shifted back.

"Maybe we should head back to your place to talk about this some more in private?" he whispered, still looking a bit embarrassed.

She smiled. "I can handle that as long as I can get another kiss or two as well."

He gave her an answering smile. "I can handle that." They walked back to where they had been to get her sandals when he received a text. He tugged his phone out as Joss slid her feet into her sandals before sidling up next to him. He saw it was from Shaw, he opened it and frowned. It simply read: You're welcome, you owe me a steak.

He scowled as he looked around in search. He didn't see her, which meant she was listening in on them. He immediately turned his phone over and unsnapped the lid that covered the back, finding the micro-bug lodged in there. Shaw had been listening in on them, she was a dead woman. "Who was that from?" Joss asked seeing the look on his face, before he tugged the bug out before replacing the lid firmly on his phone.

"Shaw," he bit out in irritation before he threw the bug into water. Shaw viewed them as a science project, trying to figure out emotions, to hell with that she could go experiment on Root who'd probably get excited at the mere idea of that.

Joss twitched as she struggled to not lecture. "That's littering, John." she said unable to keep mum.

He looked at her and grinned, forgetting his anger for a moment. "Are you going to punish me, Captain?"

She gave him a seductive look. "Don't tempt me, John, I never did get you handcuffed in the back of my car," she purred, remembering that fondly. She hadn't meant it to sound sexual at the time but she most certainly did now as she eyed John from head to toe. Her eyes strayed back to his butt once more and she licked her lips, seeing sand still clinging to his butt. Lucky grains of sand, she didn't blame them for clinging to that ass.

John remembered that conversation and how he reacted to it. He should have known that those lusty feelings he had for her would grow rather than dissipate as he had hoped. He had admired Joss's physical beauty from the very moment he met her, but her internal beauty was what truly captivated him. He valued her strong moral compass, her conviction that in the end good triumphed evil and he so badly wanted to believe in that. It was one of the many aspects of this woman he loved.

He blinked as he tugged himself from his thoughts when he felt a gentle sweeping pat against his butt that was lingering. He looked down in surprise as Joss was focused on his ass and her hand was taking an awful long time sweeping the sand off his butt.

She felt the heat of his gaze. "Just getting the sand off your jeans, these are Calvins." she reasoned and he gave her a slow smirk. "Wipe that male smug look off your face, John, do you want a sandy ass?" she huffed as the typically oblivious man figured her out. Well who could blame her with his enticing ass just there to touch, he basically gave her permission when he told her how he felt about her. She wasn't some damn saint!

"Well by all means continue since you are thinking of my welfare, Joss." he teased playfully. "But once you're done with your thorough job, it's my turn." he whispered as his hand slid down to cup her butt.

Joss looked up into his eyes. "Better be careful John, or I'll be asking for more than just kisses when I get you back to my place." she said breathlessly and he gave her a slow but wide grin.

"I'll keep that in mind."

Once John's hand slowly moved from caressing her ass, she slid her arm around his and they slowly walked back the length of the shoreline to head to their cars. "So what did Shaw want?—better not be another number," Joss said squeezing John's arm tighter to her, John was hers tonight, Shaw could seek Fusco's help.

"You won't like it," he murmured as he handed her his phone and she read it.

"What the hell does that mean?" she asked handing his phone back to him and he quirked a brow up. "That nosy little nuisance listened in on us and set us up!"

He nodded. He didn't know which made him angrier, the fact that he had wasted time tailing Leon for no reason or Shaw listened in on them during private conversations. "I'm buying her a steak that's tough and tastes like rubber," he stated, deciding he was angry about both.

Joss shook her head. "No, get her something vegan," she said slightly vindictive, she didn't appreciate that little sprite butting in on her affairs, but John was coming home with her so she couldn't be too mad at Shaw. Besides Shaw only set up the perfect backdrop for John to tell her how he felt, John did all the rest.

"I love how you think, Joss," he said smiling evilly. She smiled as she laid her head against his arm as they walked towards their cars together.

* * *

AN: Taylor took the high road while Shaw clearly didn't! The sand brushing was Elaine's idea and I had to plop it in there I mean who wouldn't want to brush the sand off John's ass, I mean I'd stand in line and pay money to do so and then head to the back of the line for a go again ;D Well this was supposed to be the final chapter but now I don't know I have an idea for the next chapter which Taylor would play a part in and I'm itchy to write it.

Thanks for reading XOXOXOXOX


	5. I Love You

_**AN: WHOOPS! I completely forgot to post this :/ but in my defense I have been busy this week hopefully that does not extend into my weekend I am in need of relaxation. Anyways, here is the final chapter!**_

* * *

"Hey baby," Hayley greeted her boyfriend of two years as she dropped a kiss on Taylor's lips, before sliding into the booth seat across from him. She was late for their date night because of after-school art study that she was taking to make it into the top of the line art schools in the country. She held his hand as the waitress appeared with a menu for her. She ordered a soda as she opened the menu, but her blue eyes found Taylor was gazing softly out the window. "Taylor, what's wrong, are you mad that I was late? I know I apologized on the phone, but I'm really sorry for being late."

He turned and looked at her. "I'm not mad at you, Hayley, I'm not mad at anything really. That class is important to you and I understand."

"Did you and your dad have a fight?" she asked not buying that he was alright. He shook his head. "Have a fight with your mom?" She knew how close Taylor and his mom were, if anything that was upsetting him so much it would be if he had a fight with her.

"No."

Hayley nodded her head and when the waitress appeared with her soda and she asked for more time. Once they were alone again, there was only one last topic that could be upsetting him. "Are you and Jill getting along?" Hayley knew Taylor was struggling to learn how to adapt to having a blended family with his father marrying a woman with three kids. But she met Taylor's future step-mother, Jillian, and she seemed nice.

"It's not like that Hay, I love Jill and think she's perfect for my dad. Henry, Tyler, and Ben are going to be great step-brothers. I always wanted older and younger siblings and now I got my wish with them. It's actually about my mom's love life…or lack of one. I'm happy and in love, my dad's happy and in love, and I want my mom happy and in love. And there is this guy that is in love with her but won't do anything about it because he thinks my mom wants to be only friends with him."

"Well does she?"

"I don't think so. Whenever my mom talks about this guy her eyes light up, she smiles all the time, and they are literally perfect for one another. My mom makes him happy too and I got a feeling he hasn't lived a very easy life."

Hayley smiled at the way her boyfriend's own eyes lit up thinking about this guy. "You love him too."

Taylor shrugged. "Yea, he's like another father and I respect him a lot, he's mad cool. He's the one I play b-ball with every Saturday."

"Oh, John, he's so sexy, him and your mom would make a smoking hot couple," she commented as she took a sip of her beverage. Hayley and her best friend (and older sister) Jinger had showed up to pick up Taylor from the private gym he played b-ball at with a friend. When she and Jinger entered they had no freaking idea he was sweating it up with the hottest guy in the planet…besides Taylor of course. Taylor's mom was like drop dead gorgeous, so her and John would make a stunning couple.

Taylor eyed her. "See, that's why you and Jinger are banned from coming to pick me up at the gym ever again. You played it cool but Jinger probably creeped John out with all her giggling, and flipping of her hair."

Hayley grinned. "That's because my sister has a thing for older guys," she admitted before the waitress appeared and they ordered their dinners. They let the subject lapse for a while. As they ate they talked about what movie they wanted to go to after, before they slid back to the topic of his mother. "So, John is in love with your mom and won't tell her?"

Taylor sat back in his seat, throwing the napkin on his now empty plate. "Nope, the other night I overheard him tell my mom, who was asleep, that he was in love with her. So I texted him asking if he told her yet and that he should tell her, but I just can't get him to," he said sadly.

Hayley sighed. "Well give him time. He'll tell her eventually," she suggested. He nodded his head and then padded his pants pocket in worry.

"Oh crap, Hay, I forgot my cell phone at home. We'll have to stop by at my place before the movie, do you mind?" he asked and she shook her head as she eyed her watch seeing it was eight-thirty.

"The showing for the movie we want to see doesn't start for another thirty minutes anyways," she said. He smiled as they got up threw money down for a tip, and then headed to the counter to pay.

* * *

It was time to treat John as he had treated her to a wonderful Valentine's non-date, then a wonderful celebratory home cooked dinner for becoming captain, and then treated her to wonderful dinner dates since they had been quietly dating for the last couple weeks now. Finally she had asked, pleaded, and demanded to plan their next date until John agreed. The last few dates were all restaurants John picked for them, all of which were expensive and wonderful and romantic, but she wanted to plan something special for him for once.

Tonight had been up to her. They still hadn't slept together yet, nothing moving past some nice making out, which she enjoyed. She liked that John was taking his time, because it wasn't about getting into the sack as quickly as they could. The pace was moving just right because she did not want to screw this up. John meant too much to her to rush things. Not that she didn't think about their first time together, because she did all the time, she thought about where it would be, how would it be, and when it would be. But she knew when the time was right, it would happen, and she was prepared any given day because she had bought all new sexy underwear and negligees just to make sure she was ready.

For their date night she had decided to keep things at her place where she ordered takeout. John wasn't really into the big romantic gestures, he preferred low key and quiet, and she was all for that because she didn't have to share the man with anyone including waitresses. She had dressed in a coral-colored lace sheathe dress that had a wraparound waistband and a flirty V-neck giving a hint of cleavage, and with soft pleated cap sleeves with a small cutout on her back. And John had come over looking sexy as sin in his man-in-the-suit attire. He always looked good. Their night had been wonderful. Dinner, conversation, some good ole' fashioned necking, and then relaxing with one another watching a movie she chose.

They laid on her couch, minus their shoes, and John had taken his suit jacket off and undid the cuffs of his dress shirt. She snuggled into his side, buried between him and the couch cushion, with her arms around John, and head pillowed on his strong chest. She had no idea if the movie was over or halfway finished because she wasn't watching the movie, hadn't been for the last ten minutes, her gaze was on John who was asleep. When he showed up earlier she knew he was exhausted, could easily see it on his face. Shaw bailed on him, forcing him to work a number all night and morning and didn't have any time to head home before the dinner, most likely in retaliation for the soy burger John had given her the other day, but he refused to cancel on her. Joss's ears still rung from the amount of complaining Shaw had done to her about her 'rat bastard boyfriend' who force fed something that tasted like it died in her mouth.

But she was so glad that John did not cancel on her because watching John sleep was a pleasure. Watching John's chest rise and fall, listening to his soft breaths, seeing his face relaxed, and holding him in her arms was better than any movie. Being granted such a simple but profound permission of seeing him so vulnerable nearly brought tears to her eyes. But she didn't, instead she laid there unable to draw her gaze off of him, stroking her fingertips across his soft and smooth skin, basking in his warmth. She wondered if John had done this to her both times she had fallen asleep on him, watching her sleep. Oh god, she hoped she didn't drool or something, how embarrassing to have his undivided attention on her and she drooled.

Joss settled her cheek against his chest, smiling as she stared up at his face. Her arms tightened their hold as he murmured something as his breathing grew even more even. He was falling into a deep sleep which wasn't typical for most military men and women who'd seen action, her included, as any minute sound she heard would wake her up. She felt love swell in her because that must mean he felt safe and comfortable here…in her arms.

She froze as she heard the door to the house open and shut. "Hey mom, I forgot my cell phone." Taylor called out and she wanted to shush her boy, afraid he would wake John up but it didn't matter because he grew instantly quiet. She looked to the entryway and winced when she saw her son and Hayley standing there.

"Hey," she murmured softly.

Her son's eyes widened as well as Hayley's and then they were smiling. "You and Mr. Badass?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you baby, it's just I wanted to take it slow with John." she admitted quietly, not wanting to disturb John. She was careful to not move too much. She looked down at him and saw she hadn't awakened him. He was out of it, her poor overworked vigilante hadn't slept in a while and was pooped because he was in such a deep and restful sleep. His right arm was lying on his stomach while the other was curled around her possessively, and his hand was resting firmly on her butt. She couldn't very well remove his hand without drawing attention to his hand to her son and she wasn't looking to be teased by her son for life at finding John's hand on her ass.

"It's okay mom."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to think I enjoy lying to you because I don't. I felt bad but I didn't want to pressure John too much with having everyone know about us," she said quietly. "We wanted to do things slowly, which included telling the people we love that we were seeing one another."

"No it's okay, mom, I'm happy for you because I really like Mr. Badass." he assured, smiling widely. "So this must mean he told you?"

Joss blinked as she furrowed her brows. "Told me, who told me what?" she asked bewildered.

"John. That he's in love with you," Taylor said, as if she knew.

Her eyes widened as she stared at him. "John told you he's in love with me?" she asked, feeling her heart begin to race. She looked down at John who was still sleeping. She wanted to wake him up, kiss him, and tell him she loved him too. But the more selfless side of her wanted to let John sleep because the poor man needed it. And that side of her won out as her eyes slid back to her son who's widened.

"He didn't tell you, did he?"

"No."

"And that means I just inadvertently did." Taylor said, looking upset as he looked at Hayley.

"Is that the secret you were hiding from me?" she wondered quietly. "Is that what you overheard John say to me?" she whispered and her son dejectedly nodded. She nodded in return. "I won't tell him that you told me," she promised him.

"You won't?"

"No, don't worry baby, you didn't spill his confidence," she said, knowing how much John meant to her son. It was why her son had been so torn about telling her the truth and ultimately kept quiet because he cared about John and respected his privacy and wanted to continue their relationship. However, she doubted John would be able to remain angry at Taylor for long, but try convincing a teen who had to grow up without a father for most of his life that. It just wasn't going to happen. Taylor valued John in his life too much to lose him for speaking a secret he wasn't at liberty to tell.

But it really didn't matter because she planned on in the morning to spill the beans and telling John that she loved him first, without telling him she knew of what he evidently told her while she was asleep. Maybe if he knew she felt the same way he would say it back and not feel afraid, and if not, then she'd play her ace in the hole but doubted she'd have to. She had a feeling John would confess after a few moments of her confessing how she felt. She knew she was the first woman he dated since Jessica, the first woman he wanted to try to be close to. She loved John and had been only quiet about how she felt because she hadn't wanted to move too fast for John. But knowing John was in love with her too, the fear of telling him and pushing too hard was gone. Plus maybe if she told him she loved him, maybe their morning would turn into an amazing morning that culminated with sex.

Taylor nodded. "We'll be leaving, I'm still planning on heading to dad's after," he said.

"Be careful you two," she murmured. They nodded before they left again. She stared down at John. "I love you too, John," she whispered, laying her head back on his chest, held him tighter to her, and watched him, not going to bother to awaken him because she wanted him to stay the night. She wanted to see him open his eyes in the morning, see the sleepiness twinging those blue eyes. Kiss his warm lips in greeting, whisper that she loved him, and listen to his hitch in breath before he said it back. And maybe, just maybe make love for the first time. So she remained quiet, watchful of John for the rest of the night.

* * *

Birds chirping was the first thing John became aware of. The second was his back was hurting and he had to pee. He sighed as he stretched a little, frowning a bit when he felt something on his side.

"Good morning."

He blinked his eyes open at the soft greeting from Joss. He looked at the ceiling, then down and saw she was stretched out, lying on top of him towards the side he had felt a slight weight on. Her eyes were a little red-rimmed as if she hadn't slept all night. He glanced around seeing they were still in her living room, TV on, with the sun shining through the large window behind them.

His eyes strayed back to her lovely face and he reached out brushing back some stray hair that slipped over her left eye. "Good morning to you," he whispered and she wiggled up a little to press a warm kiss against his lips. He reciprocated but leaned back. "Not to push you off of me or anything but I need to use your restroom," he admitted and she grinned as she scooted up and off of him. He sat up and got to his feet, walking to her restroom. He couldn't believe he fell asleep at her place. That was real romantic and gentlemanly—falling asleep on her. This was all Shaw's fault or his own, maybe he should have just gotten her that damn steak she kept pestering him for.

Joss watched as John disappeared into the main level's bathroom. John was breathtaking just waking up; she was sure she never looked like that when she just awoke. His eyes were still sleepy, lips soft and warm as was his skin, and she sighed as she leaned against the couch cushion in her own exhaustion. She dozed off here and there but for the majority of the night she just spent it watching him. No matter how hard she tried to close her lids they remained open and watchful of him.

He exited the bathroom a few minutes later and looking apologetic and sadly the sleepiness to his eyes was gone. But his shirt was beyond repair. It was rumpled and wrinkled from sleeping in it. So was her dress for that matter.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep on you last night, Joss."

She smiled. "I'm not." He cocked a brow in question. "Well I got you to stay over," she admitted as she stood up. He glanced at his watch and winced. "What's wrong?"

"It's my turn this morning to get Finch his tea, Shaw and my coffees. I need to get a shower in." he said as he looked around the floor for his shoes.

She motioned at her upstairs. "You can use my shower," she suggested.

He glanced at her. "You don't mind?"

She chuckled. "No, John, I don't mind," she reassured him, in fact if it was up to her she'd insist he'd take a shower. He eyed her and then her upstairs, then his watch. Clearly he was running late this morning and she sort of felt bad because she could have gotten him up like an hour ago, she'd been up. But she wanted to let him sleep.

"I think I'll take you up on your offer, Joss."

"You know where my bathroom is upstairs, right?" He grinned as he nodded. She sighed. "Why did I even bother asking that?" she muttered to herself.

"Thanks, Joss." he said and she watched as he immediately undid his dress shirt, sliding it from his body and slung over the armrest. She quietly watched as he untucked his T-shirt as he strode to her stairs and tugged it off as he took them two at a time.

She sighed, watchful of his behind before he disappeared from her view. "No John, thank you." She forced herself to turn away when she heard her cell phone ring. She headed over to the thing and saw it was Shaw's unknown number and she answered it immediately. "What do you want?"

"Where's Reese? It's his turn to get our coffees and Finch's crappy tea. Look, dress his ass and send him here with my coffee."

Joss narrowed her eyes. "How do you know John's in my shower?" she demanded as she looked around her home. She could hear the shower running and knowing that John was in a hurry meant he was going to take a quick one and she needed to get upstairs before he got out. She was not missing out on seeing John wet and naked just because of Shaw!

"That's not important, Carter, what is, is my coffee."

Joss shook her head. "I don't give a damn about your coffee and, you know what, you deserved that soy burger!" Joss huffed into the phone before she hung up on that little person that she'd love nothing more than to throttle. She was going to suggest to John to give the little annoyance a no-fat latte! She stormed away from her cell phone and took the steps quickly, hearing her shower kick off. Okay she was just going to pretend to enter her bedroom at the same time he was coming out of the bathroom.

Joss timed it as she heard the door to her bathroom open and she entered her bedroom. "Ooh…John," she tried to act nonchalant about it but just couldn't. Her eyes took in his wet chest. His chest and stomach were nicely defined with muscles, plus just the right amount of hair to make him manly but not hairy as the soft hair tapered down and disappeared into the towel. His hair was damp still and sat wildly as if he ran the towel through his hair. And then her gaze dropped to the luckiest damn towel in the whole world. It was wrapped low around his hips.

Once she basked in John's hotness for as long as possible without looking creepy, she looked into his eyes. He had been watchful of her watching him. He gave her his patented slow smile. "Like what you see?"

She sauntered over to him. "You, naked except for a towel, let me think for a minute….YEA, I like what I see," she said and he laughed gently.

"I have a bone to pick with you, Joss," he said, making her frown. "What is with your frilly, girly towels?" he commented and this time as she dropped her gaze to look at the towel in question, she didn't ogle him or imagine unknotting it to get a look-see but actually looked at the towel. She giggled as she eyed him in the pink towel that had frill at the edges. Having John, Mr. Badass, in a pink towel did nothing to take away from his masculinity but it looked helluva funny.

She got closer to him. "Well John if you hadn't noticed…I'm a girl," she teased.

His eyes sparkled with laughter and with what only could be described as male interest. "Oh I've noticed," he said, his eyes darkening as they took their own sweeping glance at her, his incredibly long lashes obscured her view of his eyes.

"Mmm, I bet you have." She curled her arms around his neck.

"Careful, I'm still wet and I don't want to ruin your dress." he murmured as his eyes met hers and that darkening in his irises turned his beautiful translucent baby blues into dark sapphires.

His groin pressed against her belly and she grinned. "I guess someone really has noticed I'm a girl." she teased, unable to resist pressing more firmly against him. He sucked in a breath as he leaned his head down to kiss her. "John," she whispered before his mouth settled on hers.

He paused. "What, what's wrong, Joss?"

She stared into his blue eyes, hoping he didn't panic. "I love you," she said simply and he blinked as if he didn't fully understand what she said. It was kind of out of the blue and while she had wanted to say it to him the moment he opened those pretty eyes of his, she was glad she waited. They were alone in her bedroom, no prying ears on them…hopefully. "I don't know when it happened, it could have been when we first met, when you saved my son, or just with time and progression of our connection. I don't know but I know when I realized it. You were following me on my date with Miguel and when you told me that I'd find love again when I least expected it; I knew. I knew in that moment I had found it again, with you." She paused and saw he was just staring at her. She didn't feel in the least put off by his steady gaze, instead he seemed to be contemplating what she said as if he was absorbing it. So she continued. "You became my friend, my partner, and I want you as my partner for life."

There it was said. Now it was time to wait for him to catch up and say it back. She smiled as he stared at her. She released her grip around his neck, taking a minor step back. "Take your time, I'll be downstairs making coffee for us. Come find me once you have digested what I said," she said before going to turn away but couldn't because he caught her hand.

She looked back at him. "Do you mean it?" he asked slowly.

"Do I mean I love you?—yes, John, I love you. I mean every word."

"For life…I meant, do you mean that, Joss?"

Joss searched his eyes, seeing the vulnerability shining there. "Of course I mean it, John. I want you for life, I love you." He was quiet just staring at her, holding her hand. She tugged her hand free. "Now while you process what I said I'll go get us some coffee since you're running late. Oh and buy Shaw a no-fat, no-sugar latte when you get Finch his tea. That nosy little busybody still hasn't learned her lesson yet and get it on video of her spitting it out for my viewing pleasure." Joss requested.

She turned and headed towards the door. She sighed because she couldn't get John in her bed this morning, not when he was running late. She didn't want their first time to be rushed, she wanted long drawn out lovemaking.

"I love you." Joss paused at his soft declaration, tentative as if testing them out rolling off his tongue, and she turned around. He played with the pink towel at his waist. "I know exactly when I fell in love with you, it was during our flight to Texas to try to find Finch. You talked to me, telling me stories about your son, trying to take my mind off of things, you teased me to relax me, and you were there for me. I just didn't realize what it was I was feeling then because I haven't felt love in a very long time."

Joss hurried towards him, so happy he managed to tell her, and kissed him. She kissed him passionately until it was necessary to part. "God, I wish we didn't have work so I could snatch my girly towel off of you and have at you," she groaned as she leaned her head against his bare chest. "Stupid criminals, can't they take a day off?"

He laughed as he tilted her chin up. "We'll need a lot of time because I have plans for you," he murmured.

She cocked a brow. "Oh, plans, eh?"

"Mmm," he leaned his head down, his lips near her ear. "First, I'll touch every inch of your body, then I'll follow the same path with my mouth," he said and she shivered at the sound of that. His lips dropped and kissed her neck before he leaned back. "And then I'll make love to you over and over and over again."

"That sounds amazing," and she nearly pouted that she couldn't have it now. She danced her fingertips up his chest. "Well, my son is going to be busy this weekend with his dad which means I'll be all by my itty bitty self."

He smiled. "Well, I could come over tonight if you don't want to be alone." he offered.

"Deal," she kissed him lightly before stepping back. "I guess I better let you get dressed so you can get going because I have to get going myself. And since you find my girly towel so offensive…" And the little impish urge grew too great for her to ignore, she snatched the towel from his waist. Joss's gaze slid down as John stood before her gloriously naked. John was damn beautiful head to toe, her eyes lingered on his cock before taking her good ole' time to lift her gaze, and he was all hers. Joss slung the towel over her shoulder, feeling off-kilter because her hands itched to grab him, and suddenly she felt warm. Just as expected, John was perfect.

John's eyes were nearly black, she noticed he curled his hands into fists as if struggling to not grab her as she eyed his cock that was liking her attention. "You're lucky I'm resisting the urge to grab you because I don't want Shaw to show up here. She'd probably watch us have sex and try to give us pointers on how to do it better, or how she likes it. But when I come over tonight, you're mine." he assured throatily.

"Promise," she winked as she sauntered by him dropping the towel on the floor as she entered her bathroom. She looked back at him, at that nice bare ass of his. "I can't wait." The last thing she heard as she entered the bathroom was a longing, sexually frustrated growl from John.

* * *

AN: Thanks for reading this story XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX


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